EU Last Law: Ham Sandwiches to be Banned in Schools Hospitals

Ham Sandwiches to be Banned in Schools and Hospitals

Embargoed until April 1^st

In an uncharacteristic liberal style move the Govt has been in secret talks to ban ham, burgers, sausages and other processed meats in NHS hospitals and schools by 1^st April 2018.

In a 9th hour move the EU managed to sneak this new vegan law into the statute books before article 50 was invoked this week by PM Theresa May and thus automatically uploaded into our statute books via The Great Repeal Bill 

New EU Vegan Rules on Meal Deals April 1st

Until relatively recently ingredients such as testicles, rectum and udder were allowed in school sausages but regulations have been tightened up.

A typical recipe for school/hospital sausages ("pork product" made "down to a price" to win a local authority contract - Guardian May 2003) now looks something like this;

·         50% "meat", of which 30% is pork fat with a bit of jowl

·         20% mechanically recovered chicken meat

·         17% water

·         30% rusk and soya

·         soya concentrate

·         hydrolysed protein

·         modified flour, dried onion, sugar, dextrose, phosphates, preservative E221 sodium sulphite, flavour enhancer, spices, garlic flavouring, antioxidant E300 (ascorbic acid), colouring E128 (red 2G). Casings: made from collagen from cow hide

In the light of the World Health Organisation’s re categorisation of processed meat products (Risk: Highest -  Processed meat causes cancer IARC. WHO. BBC Oct 2015) and perhaps fearing resultant legal action from parents and school governors, heads of education and health departments have been discussing banning processed meat products.

Ham Sandwiches become Vegan Hahm Sandwiches from 1st April

The proposed plan is to replace all processed meats with like sounding plant based vegan products reveals junior health minister Ms Simmo Lay

Leading Nutritionist Dr Bin MaFoud says “In reality most of any beneficial nutrients in typical local authority purchased ‘processed meat products’ comes from soya anyway so a move to plant based alternatives makes sense”

“The food industry is now awash with very realistic processed meat alternatives that have same or better taste, texture and protein content than existing products. Patients and schoolchildren probably wouldn’t even realise they are being given plant based alternatives.”

“Menus would need to be re written with just omitting or adding one letter for trade description reasons so thus sausage becomes sossage, chicken becomes chikken, mince and burgers stays the same as does Hot Dog, ham becomes hahm and chorizo becomes Chorriso” Says professor of food psychology Professor Joe King

Many sandwich providers are ahead of the game already offering Vegan options

School Packed lunches will not escape in case children swap food and schools risk being held responsible for future cancer risk. Ham sandwiches will join the school ban on chocolate and crisps that already exists in schools along with salami, sausages, bacon, beefburgers and hamburgers, chicken nuggets and pepperami.

Ofsted will have the policing of new health standards in schools added to their list of responsibilities but it is not yet clear who will police the standards of food in hospitals as currently hospitals don’t appear to have many standards for the quality of food.

A Daily Mail reader, Ivor Beef, 68, from Barking, Essex said "If the EU thinks my son is going to eat more vegetables then they've go another think coming. Eating sausages and bacon and ham is a basic British human right along with bent bananas and blue passports. If  British citizens want to increase their risk of heart disease, stroke, cancers and diabetes than that's their sovereign right and the Euros can bog off back across the channel with their daft liberal ideas about saving the planet and national health.

Karin Ridgers Founder of VeggieVison TV adds, “Luckily there is a plant based version of everything nowadays so no one need miss out on taste and texture, the animals and planet will thank you and you could live longer too.”

http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/causes-of-cancer/diet-and-cancer/how-healthy-eating-prevents-cancer

Date:  April 1st